Monday, October 8, 2012

Endearing Qualities you Should be Noticing

The way my jaw goes limp every time I watch prison documentaries.

How I politely remind you to replace the toilet roll and dust the cracker crumbs off my computer chair.

How often I instagram my food.

The way I dance around the apartment singing songs from The Lion King soundtrack.

The way I cry every time I watch Armageddon or Dark Knight Rises.

How many times I have seen Armageddon.

How I change exercise plans every 37 hours after the second workout had far too many push ups.

The rapid speed at which I drink my glass of wine.

The way I struggle to say persimmon and emaciated.

My salmon coloured trousers.

The way I spell colour and favourite even though I'm American.

My propensity to be English. If I eat Marmite directly out of the jar and watch enough BBC and complain about the weather often enough maybe one day I'll get it righty-o.

How quickly I speak when I know I'm right.

How I leave the room to burp.

How often and the intensity of which I say the word "FUCK."

This tattoo on my wrist that's my home state and how I don't regret it at all.

The way I get up at 6:20 everyday, even on Saturday when you want to sleep in and I want to watch reruns of The Office.

How I add hot sauce to everything, even hot chocolate.

How I can quote Oscar Wilde but can't name one play he wrote.

The times I pretend to be studying but am actually looking at food porn on the internet.

The way I start listening to Christmas music on October 1st.

How much I hate losing at Mario Kart.

My adorable duck waddle run.

How I like to make lists.

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