Thursday, November 17, 2011

On Making Irrational Decisions While Listening to Hans Zimmer

I would like to think I am a rational human being. I thoroughly enjoy a good pro/con list. I don't speak without thinking about the consequences. You will never find me outside in winter with wet hair. I enjoy wearing my seatbelt but something about the music of Hans Zimmer turns me into a crazy woman. Important decisions that I would normally spend hours, days, weeks or even months contemplating and calculating are thrown out the window on the whimsical note of chance.

Situation #1: Deciding to Move Across the World

Normal Natt: Can I afford to do this? I should make a financial plan to see if this plane ticket is in my budget. What kind of notice would I need to give my current employer? Who will take my dog? Can I bring my dog? Will the siblings starve? Who will make sure Olivia doesn't get pregnant or Phill doesn't drive drunk? Can I live without my family? What if something happens to my Grandma while I'm gone? Do I need to bring bed sheets? Peanut butter?

Natt Under the Influence of Hans: CARPE FUCKING DIEM! I can pull the money out of my 401K. I have a credit card! I can charge everything if my life savings run out.

Album at Fault: The Dark Knight

Situation #2: Ending A Four Year Relationship

Normal Natt: This is going to be super painful. You must be prepared for the feelings that come along with misery and all her friends. You should make a pros and cons list and weigh it all out. Speaking of weight you should probably lose ten or so pounds, you may soon be entering the dating pool again. Look into gym memberships. What if he deletes me from facebook? What if I can no longer stalk him? I WOULD DIE! What if he dates someone before I do? Will I die alone? Should probably delete him off facebook first.

Natt Under the Influence of Hans: That asshole never deserved me! Text him right now! RIGHT NOW! Perhaps I should tell him in person? Fine. Get in the car and drive the 45 minutes to his house. Will listen to epic scores the entire ride. I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I would rather be happy and alone! Yeah, hear me world? I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Album at Fault: The Thin Red Line

Situation #3: Telling My Friend I Was In Love With Him

Normal Natt: This is absolutely crazy talk. How can I even consider doing this? He is one of my best friends, what if this ruins everything? It could. Are you prepared to deal with that? What if he feels the same? He doesn't. You already know the answer. Do yourself a favor and put this idea in a drawer, lock it, lose the key. But could I go my life without ever telling him? Guess you will see.

Natt Under the Influence of Hans: This is romantic, just like in movies! It always works out in movies and in books too! Besides if you don't tell him you will probably explode and die. Who said 'It's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all?' They are sooooo right.

Album at Fault: Inception

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