Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Wonder What Celine Dion is Doing Right Now

Celine Dion's house is probably all white: the furnishings, the carpet, the chandelier. I bet she has a single wall covered with a plethora of different sized white picture frames filled with white blank canvases. I'm sure Celine Dion has a white dog named 'Jack.' I bet she doesn't eat any white food. I bet she married René Angélil because she loved how his skin would be in stark contrast with the rest of her world. She can never lose René in her house.

I am sure Celine Dion carries a microphone with her every where she goes. Celine never knows where she may find inspiration. She could find it looking at the cascading ivy on her back wall. Or perhaps while she is painting the babies room although who are we kidding? Celine doesn't need to paint, she has minions to do that. I bet her minions are 'little people'. Celine probably loves the circus feel it brings to the house. Maybe she even has them dress up like Oompa Loompas. They did wear white overalls after all.

Celine probably only travels to places where they speak French. The gnashing of teeth that is English is probably too brash for her sensitive ear drums. French rolls off the tounge so simple and beautiful. Celine would never damage her vocal cords speaking English.

Celine always smells of peonies, cinnamon and mint. Celine doesn't even know what the word flatulence means (technically she does know the definition of flatulence because Celine is very educated and has an extensive vocabulary). Celine never has to use the toilet.

Celine probably has her babies hair permed with organic and all natural hair care products. She probably puts tiny beret's on their perfectly coiffed heads while she sits in her white rocking chair serenading them with Celien Dion: The Hits Volume 3.

Celine Dion has 'My Heart Will Go On' on a constant loop in her bedroom. She wants it to be the first and last thing she hears every day. On her death bed she will serenade her loved ones one last time before her last breathe and that song will be 'My Heart Will Go On.' Celine, you are here in our hearts, and our hearts will go on and on.

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