Wednesday, August 31, 2011

You May Be An Adult If:

You may be an adult if you need to go shopping for a refriderator. Adults don't skip over that area of Best Buy and head straight to the video games. Every one must eat and therefore every home needs a fridge. It's not like stereo equiptment, computers or even a ceiling fan. If your ceiling fan brakes in the middle of July and you can't afford to buy a new one, sorry Charlie, looks like you're going to spend the night basking in a pool of your own sweat. You're an adult if you want your friends to know the capacity of your new fridge and how it just knows when you are low on ice. Look how my fridge makes ice cubes! Look! Look!

You may be an adult if popcorn is no longer a suitable choice for dinner.

You may be an adult if you own a spice rack. Let me pep up this dish with a hint of dill!

You may be an adult if Saturday nights once spent at various dive bars drunk on beer with all your mates turns into Saturday nights drunk with wine at your friends fancy home with all your mates. Let's get classy wine drunk y'all! We're adults!

You may be an adult if you have contemplated potential future spawn names. Men: If you have future spawn names picked out this does not only make you an adult, it also makes you a woman.

You may be an adult if you have considered being: vegetarian, vegan or strictly eating organic. World look at me with my bags of fresh, zero pesticide, locally grown produce! Pardon me but are these Pringle's organic?

You may be an adult if you have matching hangers.

You may be an adult if you are into trendy grownup sports like ultimate frisbee, disc golf, real golf, rock climbing, yoga, pilates, polo, sailing or skiing. Ummm, sorry I can't strap a snowboard to my feet, I'm an adult!

You may be an adult if you can't go more then 3 or 4 days without doing your dishes.

You may be an adult if you floss regularly and have a general passion for preventative oral hygiene. Did you know that oral care is linked to heart disease? Well I did, cause I'm an adult!

You may be an adult if you look back on your youthful delusions of grandeur and think "Well you were a wee bit silly." You are in a happy place now where you read the news every day and maybe own a cat. You don't get black out drunk any more or sleep with strangers or cheat on your significant other. Life is so much better here, you are an adult.

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