Thursday, August 18, 2011

What To Say When You Have Nothing To Say

I hear fish tanks are cool. I would know, I just got one. Let me tell you about it. I have already killed 5 fish, but have successfully kept alive 6. My fish tank: It's like UFC but for fish.

Did you see Rise of the Planet of the Apes? It's aight. I don't really get how 50 monkeys could win against like 8 billion humans with big guns and tanks and stuff. Also the title is too long to say. I may have cried a couple times.

How do you think Charlie Sheen takes his coffee?

I had a dream that I made a small fortune selling bumper stickers that said 'Gorilla Suits are cool!' Not a huge fortune, just a small one. Just enough to avoid working for the rest of my life but not enough to afford a private island or 2 Maserati's or eating at The Cheesecake Factory everyday till my last breath.

I wonder what Norway smells like?

Back to fish: How do fish sleep?

When I see people with a tattoo I wanna touch it. I don't care where it is or if it's located in an appropriate location, my fingers will inevitably end up grazing it. Do you have a tattoo?

I can't remember the last time I mailed something. That is sad because I love receiving things in the mail. Hint hint.

If I died tonight I would regret never having eaten a fish taco. I mean like actual fried fish in a crispy shell. Get your mind out of the gutter. Pervert.

I bet having a dick is cool.

Sometimes I wish I was Jim and Pam's baby.

I don't get furniture that is trying to be something that it's not. Futons, what the hell man? Just be a bed or be a sofa. Stop trying to please everyone. Be who you are. Same goes to you waterbed.

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