Friday, June 10, 2011

An Open Letter To My 13 Year Old Self: You Get To Sleep With British People

Dear Natalie,

First things first you end up ok, in fact you're great.

I have observed some interesting things as the years have gone by. Guess what? Being a nerd is cool. You spent your entire adolescence trying to fit in, to hide your geekdom under a rock, embarrassed for all the odd things you're in to. After high school it's ok to be who you are, in fact it's preferred. You can confess your love for: video games, Battlestar Galactica, Power Rangers, Pokemon, Magic, World of Warcraft, electro indie pop...you get to let your freak flag fly and people will embrace you for it. People will even think your middle name is cool. P.S. The men you are attracted to will find these qualities endearing.

Your appearance has changed a bit but you still look like you. You don't have that huge gap between your two front teeth anymore. Do not worry about being a giant, you will stop growing in another 2 years. Your fashion sense has grown leaps and bounds. You own jeans. I know, I still can't believe it. Your hair got a little darker and your waist a little thinner. Ironically the little floral dresses you were made fun of for wearing in 2nd grade are very similar to the vintage frocks you wear now and love. Someone told you have the coolest hair in Busan, utter lie but what a compliment. You stopped wearing glasses and started wearing contacts. You do touch your eyeballs everyday and it is as super gross as your imagining.

You will experience some terrible taste in music. Don't worry you grow out of it, well, most of it. You will own a Sugar Ray album, enough said.

You move out of Michigan, in fact you move out of the States. You end up in Korea and you're very happy there. You lose a lot of friends. People who are now like your second family will not make an effort to keep in touch with you. You will reach out and they will not reciprocate. It will hurt for a little while but it eventually subsides. It is there loss.

In their absence you meet a whole slew of people who do become your new second family. People who have an open view of the world, people who are so musically talented it emanates from their pores, people from other continents, people who have a sharp wit and a sharper tongue, people who will embrace you.

You are sexually free. You no longer live under the guilt and shame the Apostolic church made you feel just for doing what all healthy teens and adults do. You do however take it a step further. I know you are already aware that you are a bit of a freak but you can't explore how yet, but trust me...you get there and it fucking rocks.

You get to have sex with British people. I know you are smiling. That group of people with the sexy accent who appear in television sitcoms and cheesy romantic comedies they are actually real. You meet them, a lot of them. You get to have sex with some of them too. Some are better then others. One will really suck but it won't bother you that much once they open their mouth to speak. One will excel and the fact that he has the sexy accent won't matter to you. Oh, guess what? Depending on which part of England they come from will change the accent a bit. I had no clue either. Oh and Liverpool is in the North, not the South like you are currently thinking. Make The Beatles proud and look at a map.

You love wine and beer. You party a bit too hard. You still hate celery, you still hate the color pink too. You will stop liking Backstreet Boys and N'Sync. You still have your legos in fact you still play with legos. They will make The Lord of the Rings into movies. You still trip at least once a day.

You will feel pain. So much pain that I can't begin to prepare you for it. People you love will treat you like shit. People you knew your entire life will die tragically and you won't get to say goodbye. You'll almost get engaged but luckily you don't. He isn't for you. You'll confess your love for someone who won't love you back. You'll experience euphoric highs and pain that will never seem to subside but it does, listen to me, it does...and you'll be stronger for it.

I am writing you this to let you know that life has a way of working itself out. Even though you'll spend a large part of it hiding behind a facade eventually the mask does come off and underneath you are smiling.

Keep it up kid.

All My Love,
Natt x

Oh yeah, you go by Natt now.

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